MONDAY, MAY 24, 2010 11:43 AM, CDT
Right Choice #15 (Written May 22)
I’ve been trying to motivate myself to send out an update to you, my dear friends, my medical drama lifeline, my supporters and encouragers, to let you know that I am doing okay. And I am. Really, at the most important, fundamental level I am fine. And yet I would be less than honest if I told you that everything is fine. Because while I am fine, everything is not. I’m closing in on a month of pain now. A month of bedrest. A month of isolation and too many hours left alone with my over-active brain. A one-month follow-up to see why my wound isn’t healing as it should. So – what do I choose, boredom, blessings or both?
Boredom is a constant threat when facing a long-term bedrest where your mind is active, but your body is not. There is nothing much on television to offer mindless relief. Wait – I forgot about Katie’s and my newfound appreciation for Glee! Yep, we are Gleeks. So, I have an hour (42 minutes with Tivo-provided commercial free viewing) of mental break with Glee. While Facebook chews up a lot of my hours, my Facebook friends appear to have lives outside of Facebook (go figure), so there aren’t constant updates to amuse me. And I have to control myself from constantly checking to see if new messages have been sent to me in the Caringbridge guest book.
But, I have successfully fought boredom as well. I have been able to organize my digital photos. Jeff is going to buy a machine so that I can scan in our old negatives and have a complete on-line set of family photos. That should keep me humored a couple hours a day. And I’ve been able to make lots of phone calls to organize Phil’s graduation and Air Force sendoff celebration, June 4th and 5th. Most significantly, perhaps, my active mind is full of writing ideas. I’ve outlined a new book – a book full of hopeful, inspiring stories. I’m working on a leadership book that my co-author and I won a summer grant to pursue. And another co-author and I have been asked to turn our prior presentations and publications addressing abject poverty in a sustainable way into a chapter for a Social Entrepreneurship book. And so I write.
Friends have been wonderful about stopping by for visits. I feel like a queen holding court as I lay on the couch, munch on my friend’s offerings of fruit, soup, salads and treats and carry on about the happenings in the world. Other friends have sent fantastic books to read. My friend Karen sent an incredibly insightful and well written book, ‘Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow.” Others call and we chat and laugh and catch up on life. No doubt my focus will eventually turn to finding meaning in the challenges our family has faced over the past few years. When the time is right this will be therapeutic, no doubt.
Until then, as I continue to heal, as both my body and my doctor tell me to continue to lay low, as the weather remains snowy and cold and uninviting, I am finding ways to turn boredom into blessings – time to visit, time to read, time to write and time to connect with friends far and near. Boredom still creeps into my days, and so the choice is both. Boredom and blessings fill each day as I rest and relax toward full recovery.